By Moliere
(Fragment)
PERSONS REPRESENTED.
Gorgibus, father to Lucile.
Valère, in love with Lucile.
Sganarelle, servant to Valère.
Gros-René, valet to Gorgibus.
A Lawyer.
Lucile.
Sabine, cousin to Lucile.
THE FLYING DOCTOR.
SCENE I.——VALÈRE, SABINE.
Val. Well, Sabine, what do you
advise me to do?
Sab. I have really much to tell
you. My uncle is bent upon marrying my cousin to Villebrequin, and things have gone
so far, that I believe the wedding would have taken place to-day if you were
not loved by her. However, as my cousin told me the secret of all the love she
feels for you, and as we were almost driven to desperation through the avarice
of our niggardly uncle, we thought of a capital device to prevent the marriage:
at the present moment my cousin affects to be ill, and the foolish old man, who
is easily deceived, has just sent me to fetch a doctor. Could you not find one,
some friend of yours, who would be on our side, and order the invalid to go into
the country for a change of air? The old man will be sure to send my cousin to
live in the pavilion, which is at the bottom of our garden. In that way you
will be able to see her, unknown to our uncle, and marry her; then let him and
Villebrequin curse as much as they please.
Val. But what means have I of
finding so suddenly the doctor I want, and who would risk so much to serve me?
I tell you frankly I know of none.
Sab. Now I think of it, why don't
you have your servant dressed up as a doctor? There is no one more easy to dupe
than the old fellow.
Val. But Sganarelle is a
blockhead who will spoil everything. However, as we have nobody else, we must make
use of him. But where shall we find him?——Ah! here he is in the very Nick of
time. (Exit Sabine.)
SCENE II——VALÈRE, SGANARELLE.
Val. Ah! my poor Sganarelle, how
glad I am to see you! I want your help in a most important
business, but as I do not know
what you can do…
Sgan. What I can do, sir? Only
make use of me in your more important business, in things of consequence: for
instance, send me to see what time it is by the clock; send me to the market to
ask the price of butter; send me to water a horse; it is then that you will be
able to judge of my talents.
Val. I ask for none of these
things, I want you to play the part of a doctor.
Sgan. I, a doctor, sir! I am
ready to do all you please, but as for being a doctor, I say no; I am your
servant, I will be nothing of the kind. I ask you how I should set about it;
goodness me, sir, you are only laughing at me.
Val. If you will try, I will give
you ten pistoles.
Sgan. Ah! ten pistoles; well, I
won't say I am no doctor, for you see, sir, I am not so scrupulous as to tell
you the whole truth. But supposing I am a doctor, where shall I go?
Val. To the old man Gorgibus, to
see his daughter who is ill; but you are a blockhead who, instead of doing what
we want, might…
Sgan. Ah! sir, don't be anxious;
I'll answer for it that I can kill anybody as well as any doctor in the town.
The proverb usually is, "after death comes the doctor," but you will
see that if I have anything to do with it, it will be, "after the doctor
comes death!" But now, while I think of it, it must be difficult to play
the doctor; and if I do nothing right…?
Val. There will be nothing
difficult to do in this case. Gorgibus is a simpleton, a boor, who will readily
believe everything you say, provided you speak to him of Hippocrates, of Galen,
and that you have brass enough.
Sgan. You mean that I shall have
to speak of philosophy and mathematics. Leave that to me;
if he is a man as easily deceived
as you say, I answer for everything. You have only to find me a doctor's gown,
tell me what you expect from me, and give me my diploma, that is, my ten
pistoles. (Exeunt Valère and Sganarelle.)
SCENE III.——GORGIBUS, GROS-RENÉ.
Gor. Go quickly and fetch the
doctor for my daughter who is very ill; make haste!
Gr.-Re. Why the deuce do you
think of giving your daughter in marriage to an old man? Don't you see that it
is the longing she has for a young one that makes her ill? See the attraction there
is,
Gor. Go quickly! I am greatly
afraid that the wedding will have to be put off on account of this illness.
